The Evolution of Human Thinking, (the last one-hundred years)

Many long years ago, two small boys lived in a community with their mother, the father was off “hunting” and the boy’s responsibility was to “catch” the days dinner from the creek, using the “noodling” technique was a bit scary so these boys devised a game from their fathers “cards”. A game of chance that ultimately determined who would be the one to “noodle” the nights dinner.


Soon the community noticed one brother was most frequently at the creek while the other was rarely seen, they asked the young man why he always “drew the short straw” and the boy said…”Go Fish”. He soon taught the others in town how to play a simple card game that gambled away the right to sit at home while the other went out to do the work.

Now as time passed these two boys grew and one day “Little Milt” mentioned to his brother that he seemed to “lose” at “Go Fish” too often and it was time to find a new way to determine who would go out and catch the fish.

Now with a lot of time to spare, while “Milt” was fishing, “Brad” had anticipated this and had begun planning the “ultimate game of conquer-ship”, consisting of a map and many multi-colored little blocks the objective to this game was to conquer the “world” and ultimately get “control” of the home, as their mother was most frequently out with the “girls” planning ways to obtain “manhood” and gain the rights they deserved for the job they were doing.

This particular game often took days to complete and the boys soon realized they would starve if they took the ‘risk’ of finishing this game so they devised another that allowed the smaller “ocean” going battles, and “strategically place armies” for other battles to break down who would do the house hold chores now going by the wayside.

As the summer days grew into fall, “father came home”, with “mother” at his side, seeing the shambles of their home, they themselves devised a game to teach the children about “choices” in life, and began encouraging them to go to school or get a "career".

Now this concept was a bit confusing to the boys and they soon figured out that with a ‘job’ you can make money, and with money you can buy more things, doing less “work”, and they quickly invested in some property and began to “monopolize” the community.

As the years went on the community continued to struggle to achieve what seemed to them “went out faster than it came in”, the cost of rent ever increasing, the fines and fees from taxes causing them to sell and sacrifice while they watched the brothers obtain “a Kingdom” made from the communities own hard work.

Now what the community did not know was these two boys had “long ago” started a game of risk, and now that game had finally come to a head after many battles and upsets.

The game was now dominated by “two large armies” and a few smaller ones of various color taken into “control” to fill the roles of other won allies….behind closed doors these boys used this game to decide who would now pass out the foreclosure papers to their parents, as they had NOT paid their taxes since age related illness had caused them to slow down.

One morning the sun rose high, and a young lady woke to a day of sorrow as people cried in the streets over the injustice of it all and she realized that the “life of playing games” had ran its gauntlet and we had now come around in a complete circle; Where people watched as another talked of ‘tossing the entire board” the “brothers” used for decision making, off the table.

So with “ants in their pants” and hoping “not to break the ice” causing us all to “sink or swim”, they waited wishing that the world had stayed with “fairy tales” instead of moving on to “games”.

Teen Moms

I am, or was 15 when I found out the first time I was pregnant. Now your ‘ass-u-me-ing’ a lot at this moment but maybe stop and ask your self a few questions such as,

What would make a teen age girl have sex?

Many answers to that question and many will never share their rational truth as they remember it at that age…me…I wanted to be loved.

I ‘viewed’ sex as an act of ‘love’ between two people, one that would bind them together for a life time.

How wrong I was. Sex…an act between two people that may or may not be consensual, consummated for what ever reason those involved have.

Love…the way I feel about that baby I conceived at 15. Love a condition of the heart that requires one to sacrifice self many times over, for the achievement of happiness in the one you love.


I walked home that last day on the bluff, knowing the baby I now carried would be raised with out a father, grateful for the ‘little bit’ I had to remind me of the love we had shared so briefly. I was rationalizing in my head the work I had ahead of me and the possibility of defeat. Scared, knowing I was alone, as no one else would ever understand why, at 15, this baby meant life or death for me.

As I walked the few miles home I ran through a gauntlet of emotions, fear being the number one. Fear of what my parents would say, Fear that others would judge them harshly for my choice, and it was a choice for me. Fear that I would not succeed as I felt I could, and most of all fear that the baby I carried would hate me for even trying to be a mom at 15.

Now to clear one thing up, I had no intention on purposely getting pregnant, but somehow I knew after the encounter that I was, just as I knew this would be the last encounter with my child’s father a man I had loved since early childhood.

My pregnancy was not kept secret from all, a few friends rationalized me into an abortion but arriving at the clinic we found a back door into a ‘basement clinic’….I was too scared to walk in the door.

At twenty weeks adults in town had noticed my expanding girth and made it clear it was time to tell my folks or they would, knowing they could NOT make me go to that clinic I finally found the mental strength to tell my parents who raised me with morals and values that I had misplaced them, and my birth control pills…and now they were going to be grandparents.
I survived that storm and many others since then. The baby I had is now a man and has given me grandbabies…how do I feel today about the life I lived and the decisions I made then?

My first answer to this would have been its no ones business, until that is this ballot measure passed on the Alaskan Abortion Laws….Now I want to speak out on behalf of ALL young people who find them selves with child, for what ever reason…and I promise there are many…I have spent a life time supporting helping and talking to these young ladies trying to give back just a little of what a few very caring adults gave me at times when my youth needed the guidance.

***these girls names have been changed or omitted for personal reasons and their names mean nothing to this writing, their situations DO…

*** fifteen year old, drinking with friends finds herself with child, rationalizing the ‘adult’ games that come along with having a baby she chooses to have this child and call herself mom. She did well in the beginning until sleepless nights; lack of money and lack of personal self pushed her back into ‘looking for life in greener pastures’. This young lady drug her child around from man to man, home to home, and party to party. Today the baby from this story is residing behind bars. He struggled in society as long as he could and eventually got caught involved in an armed robbery. His mother still returns to the local bars and is probably single once again.

***This same scenario with grandparents that chose to ‘adopt’ the child…the child also had children at an early age and could have followed in her mamas foot steps, but others interfered and helped her make a better life for her and her kids.

***A thirteen year old girl, having baby number three, although she called one and two ‘sisters’, questions arose in my head on this one and eventually I learned that this young lady was a baby factory for her step father and mother. Told if ‘daddy’ makes the baby in you then it’s a sibling not your child. Told it was her duty to do this for her family as her mother could not have any more babies. At thirteen she barely questioned this theory, but at fifteen when she was pregnant with baby number four she sure did, today all her kids are being raised in other ‘family’ homes, last I knew she was a mother/sister to five at the age of 17 where she is now I have no clue, and her parents both reside in rooms with bars.

***The child born to parents who “did not even know they were pregnant”, these parents walked off and left their newborn in the grocery store! Returned three hours later and could not figure out why the police had been called, they left her with a diaper bag, bottles diapers and such….mom thought dad had her, dad thought mom had her, neither parent went straight home. Where is this child today? My guess is wandering around the streets still looking for her parents.

There are many reasons a young lady would chose NOT to talk to her parents about being pregnant, I felt mine would force me to abort my baby, others feel theirs would not let them, still others would get abused, while others have no choice in the matter…and in just one day the state of Alaska assumed ALL young girls who conceive a child are in one of two categories,

Parents who care, or parents who don’t…when in reality the picture is so much larger. Add the emotions from parents who find out their child is pregnant. Anger could make them chose an option for their child that is not in the best interest of their child or the child being fought over.

Now let me introduce you to a few moms, moms who made choices for the life with in their belly….

***at fifteen she was in for abortion number four…today she struggles to conceive a child…now this young woman knowing she has had her share went out and began “foster parenting” and went on to adopt a small family of her own…educated with a good job she now has the ability to support and care for the babies she was so reckless with in her youth, not her biological babies, but babies who;s mamas would have aborted had she not stood up and said “May I have them”…a solution to the abortion problem…

***She too was pregnant at a young age and had conceived this child while at a party. She reported doing many different drugs and consuming large quantities of alcohol from before conception to well past the fifth week. Abortion clinics being hard to come by in her area she went on with her life in hopes that the life style would “take care of the problem”. Instead…she gave birth to a addicted baby boy…who struggled for survival through many many painful procedures and hours or withdrawals as his little body struggled to free itself of the toxins his mama had ingested just hours before his birth. Now this young mother had not even informed her parents she was pregnant, her father being an attorney and her mom a physician she chose to deliver her baby in a bathroom at a motel.
Today…that baby died at age ten from drug related issues after many years of medical battles and procedures that cost the state a lot of money, as the child’s mother left that day in the motel, left her baby for dead……

***This mom was denied an abortion, not wanting her child she ‘sold’ her into ‘sex slavery’…the child was seized from home at 9 months old and was being “pimped out’ for what a baby does best…”suck”…yes that is disgusting but it happens more often than our sheltered worlds will allow us to see…this child was a “sucking slave” until the age of two when the state seized her for the fifth time and put her into the foster care system. This young lady at the age of ten was committed for life into a mental institution deemed “un-rehabilitative” and was charged with “sexual misconduct” to other foster kids….had Wellfare paid for an abortion five other kids would not have been traumatized and this child would not have been raised as a sex slave and now will spend her life being supported behind bars by tax payers.

I have pointed out here just a few scenarios I was exposed to through out the years I have chosen to make myself available to others for love and support. My dreams will be forever haunted with small faces, mom faces, and the what ifs…..

Over the years the only solution I can come up with in my head is, we live in America land of the free, to each his own, a young lady who chooses an abortion has to live with that, the rest of us would not even know it happened if we were not so nosey….parental rights? What about the teen- agers potential parental rights?...

I would rather see a young lady abort her baby with or without her parents permission then have it when they would rather live their lives for them selves and that child takes the punishment from the parent behavior in ways that will be imbedded in its life style and memory bank…

The queston was Where can faith be found?

Where can faith be found? Hmm a rhetorical question and I do not think you will find faith on your local super market shelves. I am under the belief that a church is a place to find faith, but it will not be handed out with the prayer book. You can have faith that the Welfare line will be long and painful, but this is not the faith we are looking for.

Faith first and foremost must come from deep with in ones inner being. Faith that the world around us will eventually be good over evil. Faith that there is more to the puzzle that meats the eye.

Many have issues with religion, but all religions have a common ground that can not be disputed, the need for good or evil to prevail. Whether they believe in one GOD or many the point is faith, faith that something more is out there to help. I asked "Jesus into my heart" as a small child. I did not know what this meant other that someone somewhere with a lot of power loved me. Through the Bible stories of my youth I learned that punishment is not always a bad thing. It teaches us to learn from our mistakes on this plane in hopes that when we leave it will be to a better one.

Faith can not come from religion alone. Many attend church thinking this is what it takes to get to heaven. Many attend for the social life and sense of community a church has to offer. The seeds of faith planted will not grow without nourishment and care, was the moral to a story Jesus told the Israelites on their journey to Egypt. I do not think he was referring to crops.

In has been proven that Jesus walked this earth, that in itself should give one faith in the stories he told of achieving paradise. I now know that asking Jesus into my heart was not the way to faith and a better world, but it was a start. I realize now that faith coming from with in brings great rewards. Rewards that no money could by. Faith from with in gives us power. Power to influence others, although I prefer the word "educate" as this power is often abused for self serving purposes or materialistic gain.

To start finding your faith is as simple as a thank you to someone on the street who moved out of your way. A smile to a stranger. Thanking the air around you when you narrowly avoid an accident. Some would say this is an institution able event, talking to oneself in third party. I disagree.

Deep with in each of us lies and ego and an id. These two have many different names of reference but it boils down to one thing, good and evil. Id is buried deep often referred to as our consciousness. Babies are born with their Id as it holds the basic instincts for survival. Soon after birth the ego kicks in. Now ego is not all bad but it does tend to lose track and become self serving. With faith the Id has power over the ego, power to assist it in seeing things from others point of view. This power is strong when used for the good of all living things.

Faith is found inside, we are born with it we just have to learn how to use it properly. Faith can be nurtured anywhere but a church is a good place to start. The environment is calming and allows one to "touch" their inner self, for a brief period of the week, gaining energy to fight off the evil of the ego.

Faith is the answer to our problems and the balm to cure our fears. Mix in some humor and a bit of love and you have the perfect recipe for paradise.

Afghanistan and the lies to America?

"Mom please you have to help me! I am going to die here, we all are."
"Mom I am hungry, please send me a box soon, I love you."
"Mom I was blown off the road, again."

These are the letters and phone calls I get from my son in Afghanistan. What was once a loving passionate young man, turned into a suicidal and hurt teen, joined the ban wagon after many promises of a better life by the US Army. Despite several psychologist notes from inpatient mental health care and an early discharge from another branch of the Armed Forces, the US Army still recruited a young man fresh out of a relationship that ended with suicidal thoughts. They covered his problems, lied to him about money and life style, even convinced him to marry the girl despite all the problems in their relationship, and all the rumors that GI wives leave their husbands while they are at war.

Funny as I see it they set my son up to die. He was the perfect candidate. Enough mental health issues that if he comes back messed up in the head they can blame his past. If he gets mad enough he just may make that perfect suicide soldier.

What they did not barter for was a pissed off mother. Mothers are forever forgotten about in this world and it is now time for us to make a stand.

BRING MY SON HOME! and any other of the young men over there that want to come home. The ones you lied to, coerced and connived! For some that life is what they need and want. But for most they are there due to glorified recruiters making bonuses at the end of the year for their recruiting abilities (lies). Growing up with "Recruiter of the year" (several years in a row) I heard how it works...little ears hear things and I heard my father was proud of his abilities to convince one that the military is the only way to become someone in this world of politics.

Im sorry son I should have broken your legs before letting you do this. I am sorry the world has lied to you and I am so so sorry that the country my grandfathers built so lovingly has become one that needs to lie and deceive it's own people.

America....they have hidden my sons past mental health history for the sake of gaining "another soldier". A suicidal young man who's life was in a relationship disorder is over in that war fighting with your sons and daughter. He is not he only one. Many of those young men and women are in the same position. For those like my father who swear by the life style of death and destruction remember that if half the platoon is already depressed and upset, your son, daughter, or spouse does not have a very good back up.

I gave a childhood to the US Navy. I was proud of my fathers career until I grew up and figured out how much of our lives were affected by years of having a father who came and went.

So world please help me bring my son home. I will give my life for his. He is not meant to be there as so many of them are not. I have battled cancer a few times in my life. Faced death and domestic violence. I worked hard in my life to achieve somewhat of a life that keeps getting pulled from me. Followed the laws and lived a good life. Now I am pissed!

Reward the good once in awhile and quit defending the bad, America....even our judicial system has gone biased toward guilty until you prove yourself innocent.

Quit lying to us about the safety of our food and drugs, the knowledge of our doctors and scientist and most of all the politicians, it is pretty obvious who gains and who loses in this country and we are all pretty dumb for following our Shepard blindly into slaughter.

Pass Over...Week of Unleavened Bread

PASS OVER

I realize many think I am off my rocker, so to speak, I want to assure them that I have never been more sane in my life. Questions who’s answers once eluded me are being answered with truth, faith and facts.

So for starters…Pass Over. Many years in church and this Holy Day now makes sense to me. My past taught me that this is a time for Jesus to bless and forgive us for our sins. A Sunday when being at church is of utmost importance…

So we arrived in our best clothes, rested and ready to “repent” and be forgiven. A band aid to heal our souls. After a sermon of how Jesus died for us and how we should repent we went to the front of the church, bowed down before the pastor and received our “offering” of the “flesh and blood”. We returned to our seats, sung a gospel from Psalms prayed and that was it…over. All forgiven. Go back to your lives just be sure to be here in a month to do this again.

Wrong, all of it, many religions practice a Kosher Diet for Pass Over and the week of unleavened bread…now I had to ask…what the heck is a week of unleavened bread…never hear of this in my church’s past.

So as the story goes…..

Many long years ago Jesus Christ came to this earth in the form of a man, born of a virgin mother. He did this to relieve mankind of the need for killing to sacrifice. He gave his flesh and blood to protect and save everything. Murder is a sin. A GOD fearing human will not kill another for any reason unless told to by GOD himself…but this has not been done in thousands of years…another reason Jesus came to this earth.

During Jesus’ life time on this earth he was tempted, as all men are, by sin; he stood firm to the WORD of GOD, being GOD like in a mans body allowed him to be able to do this, he was also man though, he prayed to HIS FATHER the night he was taken to be crucified and he asked to be spared this coming of events if it were at all possible. Yet he suffered torture at the hands of man for hours and only asked for them to be forgiven as they do not know. AMAZING the strength of faith.

Okay before this prayer and his capture he had a dinner with his disciples. He spoke to them of the things to come and the way they would respond. He forecasted for them how they themselves would behave after his death, and he was right. Peter Paul and Mark all mention these in their writings of this time. After washing their hands in a ceremonial bowl Jesus took the loaf of bread and blessed it and gave it to his disciples saying “Take and eat; this is my body.” (Mathews…but you got to read the whole book…hehe)

He went on to ask the men he called brothers to honor him once a year by eating only unleavened bread for the week after Pass Over…the Week Of Unleavened Bread. Now why is it that simple…a memorial for Jesus…one week a year…no leavened bread…yet religion has blow it up to be special foods and drinks…He did not make it hard…just asked to be remembered and honored for one week a year.

Now I have always thanked Jesus daily, but to give him one week a year to think of his sacrifices every time I ate unleavened bread…I would have done that he did a lot more than that for me.

But…this goes back before Jesus time…Moses removed the Israelites (GODs people) from the Egyptians on Pass Over too. Pass Over was planned by GOD when man first came about. Many times over now Pass Over has come and gone with no one realizing it.

Noah…Pass Over.

Jericho…Pass Over.

Babylon…Pass Over…

And the history goes on and on…Pass Over…the one and only time that many got to show the LORD they were with him…the consequences have been deadly…

How long could they tread water?

A city surrounded and built of brick must have hurt when it crumbled down.

Babylon….now no one can understand anyone else…and the tribes were sent to different regions or killed.

In the past before Jesus came and sacrificed himself for us Pass Over required a lot of preparations and planning…Jesus died a horrible death to ease the burden of Pass Over, in hopes that many would stick with it instead of straying…GOD tried, we wanted more.

So now Pass Over…first Sabbath is not Sunday as the Roman Catholic Church has lead us to believe….they made the calendar…look it up. Sabbath is and always has been on a Saturday. Starting as all days were meant to…at sundown the day before…God intended sundown to end one day and begin the next…not midnight.

At sundown tonight Pass Over begins. It will end at sundown tomorrow night. To honor Pass Over one must have faith in the LORD JESUS CHRIST and to show him so it is simple…honor the Seventh day Sabbath…do not work…study and play what more could one want on a Saturday. If it is a Pass Over Sabbath as this one is…you simply throw away all leavening agents in your home and any breads you have made with them. Simple nothing fancy to eat or prepare…JESUS died to alleviate that. Now a meal should be planned for the Pass Over after sundown on Friday instead of the normal dinner hour…with unleavened bread…then one week of eating it and thanking JESUS for what he has done for us. Changing our ways, and accepting that HIS KINGDOM will govern this earth anyway.

Many will not have read this far. I am posting this because I hope someday they may want the answers to these questions and I know I have posted them to the best of my understanding. I am just a student here too, but eager to learn more.

FAITH

Where can faith be found? Hmm a rhetorical question and I do not think you will find faith on your local super market shelves. I am under the belief that a church is a place to find faith, but it will not be handed out with the prayer book. You can have faith that the Welfare line will be long and painful, but this is not the faith we are looking for.

Faith first and foremost must come from deep with in ones inner being. Faith that the world around us will eventually be good over evil. Faith that there is more to the puzzle that meats the eye.

Many have issues with religion, but all religions have a common ground that can not be disputed, the need for good or evil to prevail. Whether they believe in one GOD or many the point is faith, faith that something more is out there to help. I asked "Jesus into my heart" as a small child. I did not know what this meant other that someone somewhere with a lot of power loved me. Through the Bible stories of my youth I learned that punishment is not always a bad thing. It teaches us to learn from our mistakes on this plane in hopes that when we leave it will be to a better one.

Faith can not come from religion alone. Many attend church thinking this is what it takes to get to heaven. Many attend for the social life and sense of community a church has to offer. The seeds of faith planted will not grow without nourishment and care, was the moral to a story Jesus told the Israelites on their journey to Egypt. I do not think he was referring to crops.

In has been proven that Jesus walked this earth, that in itself should give one faith in the stories he told of achieving paradise. I now know that asking Jesus into my heart was not the way to faith and a better world, but it was a start. I realize now that faith coming from with in brings great rewards. Rewards that no money could by. Faith from with in gives us power. Power to influence others, although I prefer the word "educate" as this power is often abused for self serving purposes or materialistic gain.

To start finding your faith is as simple as a thank you to someone on the street who moved out of your way. A smile to a stranger. Thanking the air around you when you narrowly avoid an accident. Some would say this is an institution able event, talking to oneself in third party. I disagree.

Deep with in each of us lies and ego and an id. These two have many different names of reference but it boils down to one thing, good and evil. Id is buried deep often referred to as our consciouses. Babies are born with their Id as it holds the basic instincts for survival. Soon after birth the ego kicks in. Now ego is not all bad but it does tend to lose track and become self serving. With faith the Id has power over the ego, power to assist it in seeing things from others point of view. This power is strong when used for the good of all living things.

Faith is found inside, we are born with it we just have to learn how to use it properly. Faith can be nurtured anywhere but a church is a good place to start. The environment is calming and allows one to "touch" their inner self, for a brief period of the week, gaining energy to fight off the evil of the ego.

Faith is the answer to our problems and the balm to cure our fears. Mix in some humor and a bit of love and you have the perfect recipe for paradise.

Romans 1:24

I say never read a phrase from a book and judge that book with out reading the whole book...but the book of Romans is good reading.

Therefore GOD gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator-who is forever praised. Amen

Paul here is talking to the gentiles about GODs wrath against mankind, why he has to do it.

Bible on fast track...we are out of time.

Let’s start in Eden, a garden of happiness and love, no worries, jealousy or negative energy, and just one rule. One rule that we could not obey. Yes blame the woman, her curiosity and need to know everything got us all in trouble. Although man is not free of blame, what he will do for a pretty face, or maybe it has something to do with the need to be mothered, either way, he too ate the apple and he too was banished from paradise to learn of the evil they were promised they would learn should they touch that tree….

Thus…tough love…THE FATHER told them not to do something…they did it…and he had to follow through.

It has taken man a very long time to learn this lesson though, and most are still not getting it.

OUR FATHER had hopes though and he sent many prophets of great wonders to this earth to prove HE is who HE says HE is. Through Moses the Israelites, saved from Egypt, punished and tested, and saved again, yet they still could not hold onto faith.

Noah had faith, did what he was told, and floated away on a very BIG boat while others learned to tread water.

Now let’s talk Babylon….many children given a task and all they did was fight over who was right and who was wrong…FATHER sent them to separate corners and made it so they could not speak to each other…smart I would say when the children will not quit arguing.

So when all “magic” failed to make people see the TRUTH. HE made the ultimate sacrifice. HE gave us his SON. Hello people how many of you would give your son to the world…knowing he would be killed? GOD did this for us. We did not even accept that gift. Why?

Oh wait I know that answer. GREED and the NEED to be right ALL THE TIME.

Self satisfaction and the need to make “life easier”…which by the way only made it tougher if you have ever been penniless and in the street…see there are no springs to wash clothes in anymore. There are no places the poor can build their tents and live the life GOD asked them to, man will not allow it. We have made rules and laws preventing people from living the life GOD wanted us to live. The life JESUS lived as an example to us. Boy do I wish we had paid attention to that lesson.

So JESUS dies, by his own people by the way. At this point the “law” found him guilty of nothing. The masses wanted HIM dead. It is in the BOOK. JESUS forgave his killers before he was even hung on that cross. Why did we not learn then?

Money. The root of all evil. Runs this world or it will for another week or so.

Sell your stocks, chuck the bonds and give up on that 401K….retirement will be just as JESUS told us it would be. As HIS and OUR father wants it to be.

This will be one of the last things I post on this blog.

I know that the COMING is near. I know that GOD will take care of those that are willing to give it all up and prove to HIM that they LOVE HIM and the WORLD HE made for us.

When the Seventh SEAL of the scroll is open…oh by the way…that happened already…read the BOOK, The angels were asked to hold off while GOD finished gathering his people as many have strayed and are just now hearing him. If they listen deep with in their own selves…remember he will NOT talk to anyone at the moment he tried that already…we did not listen.

A great pain will shake the earth similar to that of a woman in labor. The pains will get worse and worse until the COMING of CHRIST and his army of 144,000.

First the pains are induced by mankind…through war, distraught and hatred. Then very soon as we are at the end, the pains will increase, thunder lightening and rain will be the least of our worries. Fires floods and earth quakes will get those that are not listening.

If your still not convinced well here come the plagues. People of little or no faith will suffer great illness for five months. Illness that makes one wish for death, yet here the magic will come in, YOU WONT GET IT. Not then anyway. You will be so sick yet you will not die. GOD says it is so and I BELIEVE HIM!

Still unconvinced, well then comes the plague of demons. These will not be real demons as we think they should look. They will come in the form of a VERY LARGE army. One that no man ever thought would prevail as we have kept those people “secured” in the world we wanted them in for way to long.

Picture it…two million little Jackie Chans. Mortal combat at it’s finest. GOD states that this army will have great powers. They will get their revenge on the ones that have held them at bay for eons.

Then and only then will GOD allow man to suffer for hurting those he protected. His army of SAINTS that await to govern this world. He has already assured them that their time for retaliation will come.

This army will only be defeated when JESUS himself comes to finish up the mess we make over the next three years.

Now…the Pope….where ever he may be…will be brought before JESUS and he then will be faced with the consequences for his actions. Leading GODS people astray is not a sin I would want to have to answer too…terrorist at it’s finest I would say.

So as with all good stories…there is a happy ending for those who believe. To sit at the feet of the GREATEST HUMAN that ever walked this earth. To hear the lessons we were suppose to learn from his beautiful mouth. To look in his eyes and see the love that HE has for all of us.

Three years is NOTHING for restriction if I am promised a place of PEACE HAPPINESS and UTOPIA…..yes father soon the Utopia I dream of will be here…I just hope to survive till then.

HIS KINGDOM WILL COME TO EARTH, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN

WHO SO EVER BELIEVES IN HIM, WILL NOT PARRISH, BUT WILL BE GIVEN THE GIFT OF ETERNAL LIFE…hmmm? I love that thought, always have.

I want to ask my family and friends to please forgive any wrong doings I have done. I have never really held a grudge, but those that I have had bad feelings for, I have dealt with. I am truly sorry for any heart ache and pain I have caused another…except for this letter. If you are feeling heart ache and pain…look deeper for the real reasons.

To each his own is a thing of sin. It means nothing to GOD at this moment. He wants FAITH he wants us to listen with our hearts where his breath took root on our births. He wants us to forget what the devil has taught our heads, brains are human and there fore good at being programmed.

There is but one army that will win this battle…

I am on that side.

I MAY NEVER WALK IN THE INFANTRY

RIDE WITH THE CALVERY

SHOOT THE ARTILLARY

I MAY NEVER FLY OVER THE ENEMY

BUT I AM IN THE LORDS ARMY!!!

HIS KINGDOM IS COMING, TO BE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN

THE ONE TRUE MAKER OF ALL THINGS……GOD…will win this war.(he made it people, he knows how it will end.)

To you all,

My love in our FATHER be with you

A humble servant of HIM

Shana

The SEAL is OPEN...wake up please.

As prophesied by someone I now consider a mentor, a major official would visit the United States of America during this years Pass Over...a BIBLICAL term I will tell you about if you truly seek to find....anyway...it has been announced that the Pope will be in NY on April 17...may be a day off but it does not matter in the over all scheme of things. During this time if you are watching our economy you will note an increase (a false security I assure you). A meeting between him and the President will end with a few other nations being quite angry at us...so it appears that the Seventh Seal of the Revelations has been unsealed by JESUS (as he is the only one that can remove them) and the first of several prophesied events will begin to unfold)

Oh if your not packed yet...better get started...and remember NOTHING is important of this world anymore but what you need to survive 3.5 years till JESUS shows up again...better put your BIBLE on the top of the list...I will share, but you cant have mine. It contains my FATHERS words, and I was taught by my father...Obey your mother and your father.

Please friends hear with your heart...research quick if you must as the signs of evil will be increasing rapidly...so it wont take long to notice a pattern...but at this point...OUR FATHER is none to happy with the way we have treated our brothers, sisters and home.

THY KINGDOM COME, SHALL WILL BE DONE
ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN!!

AMEN and GOD BLESS you all.

Just an interesting Article...

http://www.metimes.com/International/2008/01/10/bush_outlines_his_vision_for_peace/8935/


Did you know Mr. Bush has a personal friendship with Jesus...pay attention to the last paragraph...then go READ the BOOK of REVELATIONS...it is in the BIBLE...if anyone out there does not know that...seem a certain SEAL mentioned in this BOOK makes a specific reference to a peace treaty of this sort...hmmm...

THE END....

It has always been my belief that I would meet JESUS in my life time. Many years spent looking for the TRUE CHURCH OF GOD...I have found that it is not yet found a home...but is scattered throughout the world waiting for the time to congregate as one....a group of people that still hold faith in a Higher Power...a government that will control all men in this world as one...yet happiness and laughter will be in abundance....

This will be achieved in my life time...or I may die while it is being achieved...either way I will return and be an eternal part of paradise...I welcome the LORD JESUS into my home...his name comes from my lips with love as I begin to educate my children in the "true meaning of life"....

I truly hope that all who read this blog take the time to look deeply into themselves and ask..."Am I ready to meet GOD?"....to bad as he will not be back for 1003.5 years....but his son will be here in just 3.5 years....I am ready...are you?

Follow this link if you dare...it will challenge everything you were grown to believe in...but if you look deep in your heart you will hear these words ring true....

"There is only one TRUE CHURCH of GOD Abraham knew this...he passed this on to his sons...as time went on man for got this...now man is paying the ultimate price....How much are you willing to spend to save your life? Guess what...it wont cost a thing but your pride...swallowing it has NO calories but many fulfilling benefits....excepting that only one government can rule this world...the one ran by JESUS and the 144,000 true members of his fathers church...all waiting to come back and help us...govern us in the way man could not...

"May JESUS talk to each and everyone of you....showing you the way to paradise"

AMEN

If you could have anything what would it be?

As a small child I remember having very vivid dreams of paradise. The lolly pop trees grew in the warm sunshine. Sprigs of grape, strawberry and orange colored candies on branches that could be picked from trees. Tootsie pop bushes with lime flavored gummy leaves lined the path of peanut brittle. Maybe I am living with rose colored glasses, but I do not see this dream as a candy land brain fart...to me it was paradise, people were happy, no one was sick, and everyone seemed to like everyone. I hated waking up from this dream...although I will admit I did try to stuff all the candy into my pillow case for later and was disappointed in the morning when I found my pillow on the floor and an empty case in my hand.

A few years later that common dream changed. The candy fell from the trees and world became dark. At first I did not recognize this as the paradise of my child hood but as the years past and the dream came back often the similarities took place. Now people were running from each other...hiding in abandoned buildings and being shot. Now the people who used to play in the sun all seemed to hate each other. I seemed to forever be running from something yet never new what it was.

Now I know what those dreams were all about. Heaven and Hell...Good and Evil...Paradise and Hades.....what ever you may call it. As a child I was allowed a glimpse of what this world had to offer in a perspective that would grab my attention. When these dreams changed I shown hell and what it is going to feel like as this world takes on a new meaning for everyone.

So...If I could have anything I would want love, acceptance and to be able to walk out doors and have my nutritional needs met just as Jesus promised. If I could have anything...money would not matter as people would again realize individual talents and how much fun it is to work together. There would be no need for Electric Companies and Gas Companies as the world would be our home and the environment stable. No one would be sick and no one would fight. People would love one another and share this love with the world around them, if I could have anything.

History of the Circle

***this is the first of a series of things I have written. It may form a book some day I am hoping that those that read this will not judge or be offended in anyway. As I am not intending to "take sides" in any one belief. At times it may appear that way as it does in history also. I am hoping however that those that read this will let me know things like...How easy it was to understand? Critique my writing not the contents...please.


History of the Circle….

I began “questioning” the world at an early age. Told many times I seem to have to “try it all” in my life time as well as the “I ask too many questions.” Good thing I was also taught that “No question is a stupid question if one is truly seeking an answer.”

Let’s start in the beginning. Some believe that we “evolved” from the something most likely from the sea. Others believe we walked out of paradise and into sin. Some do not “believe” anything, “it just is.” Why can’t all of these be the right answer?

Seems that IF at one time we had a “paradise” on earth, humans living with nature with no negatives to effect out lives and someone chose to use their “human powers” to blow the place up. These same people wanted to regain control of that paradise; would others not run away? If this paradise was taken over by a controlling body of some kind would they not want to keep their power by enforcing laws and rules that make people behave in a certain way?

Those that wanted to remain in a “shared” paradise would have been seen as trouble makers and either imprisoned or killed as an example to the rest of the “non-compliant” people. This would have lead to the life many in the world today live by, a world of competitiveness and much needed forced compliance.

Now IF these people that were fighting to remain free of rules and constraints and lived by their beliefs of peace and positive over negative wanted to spread to word to others, yet wanted to avoid persecution I do believe history sports a theory that “stories and nursery rhymes” were made up and spread via voice until man found ways to “document” the facts that were portable.

So maybe I did not start at the beginning of the Earth…but how we evolved into humans that think, feel, and have the capacity to rationalize does not really matter. What matters is how we evolved from family unity and shared communities to lonely individuals that work to many hours for most of our lives with rarely any true rewards to compensate. What matters is…How do we prevent this world from becoming a place where the negatives out way the positive so heavily it is impossible to fix it with out blowing things up?

What matters is…sciences are proving that we are continuing to evolve. Why anyone would think we would stop evolving is beyond me. Medical statistics we once thought were written in stone are changing. Human organs are more able to handle higher increases in core body temperature than they were in the past. A fever of 101 once was deadly. Now it is considered normal in the state of illness. Doctors know the rational behind this, medical scientist too. Due to the “competitiveness” in our world “other sciences” do not know this. They chose to believe they are different in their studies therefore the information has no meaning to them.

So IF at one time we lived in a “paradise on earth” we would not have needed clothing to keep us warm. Our bodies are made to adapt. So if this paradise was disrupted quickly by an asteroid from outer space, a flood from the heavens, or maybe even just the natural evolution of the earth on its axis man would need to migrate, possibly quickly. Adaptation does not happen quickly unless you are a simple celled life form. Humans take years to reproduce and change genetic structure. If you consider that it takes two humans to toss out a pool of genetics it could take even longer to change the evolution of man. The odds make it a slow process for humans and other large animals.

So here walks the dinosaur. Yes these creatures once walked the earth; maybe it was more like a zoo with out fences. Something made all creatures on earth migrate quickly; those that took longer periods of time to pass on genetic codes, and those that had serious depletion in numbers were unable to continue to evolve.

Now at this time I could see total chaos on earth. People used to living in a “controlled environment” mixed with people who have continued to live off their own beliefs in peace and oneness, all mixed with animals of great size that are probably unknown of due to lack of media coverage then, chaos on earth that ended many issues and began many more.

Many probably wandered around not knowing where to go as they were used to being told how to live; probably provided for if they worked for the ones in power. Many more formed communities and began again working to achieve the paradise their ancestors told stories of. At this point man and beast probably both gave up vegetarianism due to a lacking of vegetation. Food was needed for survival, and for those with out, fur was needed for warmth. Thus killing for food and adding to the need to compete for survival... One deer, five families to feed, self preservation would have taken over. Negative feelings and emotions would have taken over some causing greed and other harmful issues.

In some places it may have taken years for vegetation to grow again causing even more negative energy amongst those that lived in those areas. Now remembering we have not found evidence that we had any type of “modern technology” back then. We would have been afraid to wander to far away from where ever we called home. Stories would have been told around firesides on long winter nights about the times when the “Great Beasts” were roaming and the “heavenly star” “holy flood” it would probably depend on where one was when the event happened. Earth quake shakes the ground, crumbles buildings…we now know that the tsunami that follow will take out land masses thousands of miles away.

What would you have thought if you were walking the beach when a giant wave came from no where and took out the entire village? Not knowing that across the world the land shook so viciously it opened and swallowed people into its depths.

Now in walk the stories of man kind and the savior per each group’s beliefs. Someone would have had to start a story to encourage others to not lose hope. It took the whole community to survive. They had to work together and not knowing where the disaster came from fear would have made that a hard thing to do.

At this point many formed strong bonds toward the ones that showed the strength and found the solutions to their problems. Many idealized these people into positions of greatness. Some could not handle the control this gave them and they began to use the fear full to achieve their means of life in luxury per the times. Others showed sacrifice and hard work to set the example of how man could live again in that ultimate community with patience hard work and love for each other.

Again communities would have separated due to differences of opinions sometime during these trifles “religions” were named. At that time religion was the political party and usually the ruling government. Here is when I could address the “facts” that put me to sleep in history class, but I was so busy trying to get the damn bibliography right, so that everyone got “credit” as required, t those facts just slipped into fragments that may or may not be correct. Point here is this, Religion was the ruling government at one time. A time when man lived only half the amount of time man lives now. A time when infants were born dead and often time the mother died in the process of birthing. This information leads me to believe that the human numbers on this earth were under control.

I would guess with a much smaller population the religions would have consisted of few in number with the people having to decided, or be born to a particular side. Hypothetically let’s say this; there were two maybe three main “groups” or “religions”. These groups lived with in their own boundaries up until their populations grew beyond. Now they need more space and have infringed on the “others”. This would cause some minor spats between them.

Let’s say that to over come them, two of the “groups” realized that the leaders son and daughter had fallen in love. Now if these two groups were to join in marriage it would be in the best interest of both to work together. IF this happened and say there was a third group that realized how much “power” this would give a population far greater than his own; would he not do everything in his power to prevent that union or at least break it before the bonds of marriage had time to infiltrate both communities.

Now at this time people would have been afraid to speak for their own beliefs. Fear of the unknown is mans worst enemy so they would not venture out from home to start over. They were forced to “choose sides”. This again changed the balance of GOOD and EVIL. This again made many humans question their own beliefs. I would guess some were brave enough to strike out on their own eventually finding others and forming yet another “group”.

Many times over man has “proof “of this circle of events. Each time humans have evolved into thinking they are more intelligent the last group it happened too. Maybe we are maybe we are not. I would think that with the many, many, years of information we now have and the technology that someone, some where could fit the pieces together. This is where that little voice I don’t really hear but still I hear, speaks’ to me and says

”Hey…Hey you…get a clue…’someone, somewhere’…why not you?”

Is it GOD? My ego or Id? Maybe a multiple personality disorder; what ever it is it is nagging at me to the point that it makes me smile and say…

“Fine! But if I get shot you and I will be face to face sooner than I want to be…and we may not get along!”

(I believe in the good over the bad. Whoever it is up there has a sense of humor or we would have all been wiped out long ago.)

I hope I do not need to point out here that this story could pertain to many events in history, once told history repeats itself, I did my research and asked my questions. Again I was not looking for “facts” and “proof” I was watching and waiting for lessons to be learned and a pattern of behaviors that fit the description of man kind, forensics at a deeper level.

Young Parents

Not one to like labels much the title "teenage mother" makes me shiver. Not so many years ago women became women when their monthly cycles began. This means that a woman is of child bearing years. It is in modernized society that we label these pregnancies. That label will follow someone through their life if they allow it too.
I was 15 when I discovered I was pregnant. Having only the knowledge that my child like mind was able to take in...I wrongly figured somehow Pregnancy came with marriage. "We will talk about it when you get married".
I always knew I wanted children but in the eighties it was a time for women to consider career first then the family. I had my life planned and pregnancy was not on the schedule until 32. One choice changed that path and a life I had not anticipated began.
I was not raised in a dysfunctional family. I will not pass "blame" on my parents for my choice to try "adult" things at an age when my body was screaming maturity but my socialized mind knew nothing. I could go on about the financial hardships that come along with a family before financial responsibility but most who are teen age parents probably are figuring this one out on their own.
I could cry about the loss of my child hood and the amount of people hurt, including myself, because I was making "mature" decisions that I only thought I knew anything about. Throwing a pity party would not help nor would it teach my now grown children the morals I have been trying to teach them for almost 22 years.
Life is hard; I will not deny that, it is even harder when you are trying to grow up before society and your brain are ready for that growth. I am now raising a second family, my dream of starting a family at 32 is a reality now. I now see the things I would not hear before. I won’t ramble on about as it would not help anyone that is human and young.
I will say that now my "teen pregnancy" has grown up. He has problems dealing with some things in this world mostly due to the upbringing he had. When parents fight, for what ever reason, their children over hear things. They may not react at the time but eventually a time will come in their own lives and they will draw that experience up and handle their own situation similar, whether they liked it or hated it when witnessing it as a child.
These are the things that teen age parents do not know. As young people we feel there is "always tomorrow" to fix a mistake. We do not even realize how fast that "mistake" will grow. Nor how much of their behaviors are patterned after their parents. It did not matter to me when people would talk about how I should parent an extremely hyper young man. I usually did not listen as he was my son and I knew everything about him.
Now I know different. Here is what I know. As young parents "fairness" is still a big issue in our adolescent mind. That "fairness" is mainly self centered. When we have children we tend to treat them as if they are an appendage of ourselves that can be removed from our bodies. All parents need to realize, but young parents have a harder time of it, that children are just "adults in training". Whether you conceive a child at 13 or 32 the responsibilities are still the same. Difference is that at 32 you can see that the whole picture consists of much more than food, clothes, money, and a lack of social life and sleep. At 32 you can see the psychological effects a life style has on a developing child.
I was lucky enough, after a bout of cancer or two, to conceive a fourth and fifth child. At the time my "teen pregnancies" were 18, 16, and 11. Given a second chance to attempt to "fix" the first round of mistakes that I made, I am hoping that the older ones will watch an observe and note the differences. I am hoping that they will learn, along with me, how a "functional family" works. They will see that abuse and negative energy ruin the love a family should share no matter what their financial status.
This time around I will not allow my child to go to "a kid in the class'" birthday party. If my child is not a close friend of the birthday person, they should not be going to the party. It does a child good to feel the lack of fairness in this world, to deal with those emotions while they are still learning how to handle life. A time when a parent can show them ways to deal with "being left out", instead of insisting that "Timmy get to go to.".
This time around, when my spouse and I have "issues" we take it away from the kids if it is going to heat up, not something I worry about in this marriage. I talk to my spouse about how we will handle situations I already know will arise from previous experience. We find a plan and are prepared instead of side balled by the young child insisting on getting her way through mean words and violence.
I now know that things happen. How we handle them is why they happen to teach us to find positive things from the negative. It is always positive to learn from a bad choice. There are so many more topics I could move into about the life of a teen age mom, but it is more important to think about the life of the off spring of that teen age mom.
I did not do my son justice. He was loved, clothed, and fed. I did all the "mom" things I knew how. What I did not know then was that MY behavior (and their fathers) was the MOST educational opportunity I had to offer my child. I blew it by making excuses for bad behavior as I tried to teach them good behavior. What I taught them was to make excuses. I blew it by assuming that "family" being together was more important than my child's trust and safety needs. Sometimes it is better for the child to cope with divorce if one parent is setting a good example. It is ideal if both do, but this rarely happens I am told.
If two adults can not communicate appropriately their children notice. These same children hear the "respect" speech regularly (or they should anyway). If they do not see their parents "practicing what they preach" they lose respect. Wouldn't you? If these children see parents communicating even if the parents do not agree, they will learn to communicate and disagree. That it is okay to NOT agree.
Lessons that as young people we usually have not learned to use. Lessons that tend to be forgotten when the baby has been crying all day, there is no money, milk is sour, and one of the two "adults" does not pull their load. My sons did not deserve to be a part of my growing up process. They did not ask to be put in that position. So it was and is still my job to try and set a good example, even though they are grown.
I have talked often with my "teen pregnancy" about life and the issues we all face. He too made the choices that lead him to be a father at young age. He is making the same "mistakes" I did. Children shall be punished for their parent’s sins. (I promise this is one of the worst consequences I have ever had to deal with.)

A question I have been asked...and the answer I give

Where is this world going?

Well the last I checked it was revolving around the sun in a somewhat circular motion while spinning on it's own axis. If I remember correctly it has been doing this for a very long time with out the aid of man kind and will probably continue to do so unless we blow it off course.

Now ask me where man kind is going on this world and I will tell you not to far. See the world is only so big. Man has floated around it, flown around it and even seen the entire thing from the area far outside our atmosphere. We have no where left to go. So now we must conquer ourselves.

This world is not going anywhere but man kind may turn it uninhabitable. So I guess you could say this world is rotating into evil. Evil deeper than many of us can handle. You know evil has the upper hand when even the churches back down at Christmas.

The war on Christmas is a very good indication. For many Christmas means "holy stuff". For others it means "presents for good little boys and girls". For some it still means PEACE on EARTH and GOOD WILL TO MAN. For the longest time we have relied on the church to bring us our faith we put the power of GOD into the institutions run by man. Men (and women)have selfish issues to conquer and many have "portrayed" themselves as "Godly Men" and used that power to harm others. This action set a bad example and became publicly exploited until many lost faith in religion all together.

As this faith dropped people began criticizing the church's and religion, evil began to brew as the people lost the thought that something somewhere might just "snuff you out" in an instant or condemn you to eternal hell. With out the fear of eternal consequences why does it matter how you treat someone else here on earth, as long as you are happy.

Evil grew more as people began needing more and more to be happy. Christmas, once a time for families and friends to gather and enjoy each others company after a long summer of harvesting and hunting. Now a time of rush and hurry to fit it all in after work that does not earn you enough to pay the bills let alone shop for anyone. A time when even enemies once laid down their swords for twenty four hours in honor of the potential for peace. Yet now neighbors can not wish each other Merry Christmas with out worrying about offending each other.

So where is our world going while it revolves around the bright warm sphere in the sky? No where unless we chose to stop it.

I prefer for it to continue to go no where and to do that we must all first learn to stand up for what is right. We as humans tend to "give credit" and "keep score" to the point that we miss the big picture. Churches allowing the "rights" of non-believers to over ride their own are the final step to this evil. Whether one believes in the church and it's preachings does not really make the difference, will one stand up for those beliefs? That makes the difference.

Jesus and many more after him lived and died for their beliefs. History has proven that Jesus did at one time walk this earth. I do not think Jesus would have wanted us to remember how he looked, or just his name. A famous painting or two. I think Jesus would have wanted us to know that this world is meant to be paradise. We chose to not let it be. Our own down falls of anger, jealousy and hatred will kill this world. Our need to achieve the highest level and when we do, we build another. Jesus would have wanted us to see that even though he had the right to be very pissed off at the people who he thought friends, he forgave them. Why? Because to have cursed and been angry at that point would have made his whole life and the purpose he lived it worthless. He showed strength by not allowing the anger to rule him while he died painfully.

So many more have tried to set this same example and have died in their attempts. Martin Luther King, John F Kennedy, John Lennon Abraham Lincoln all men who spoke of peace and forgiveness. Men who were cursed and called names, then ultimately died still fighting for what they believed in.

Evil. It is getting stronger every day. This world is becoming an equivalent to hell on an axis. Murders, rape, slander, sloth, excuses, politics, medicine, science, gluttony, retail. The end of the world in the making...unless we figure it out. Goodness and forgiveness will save this world but only after evil is identified and conquered.

Denial and Deciet

Two of most peoples biggest problems. Up until a few years ago I too had this issue. Then I realized that the only person I was really hurting...was myself.
I did not deceive and deny to hurt others or achieve a free ride for myself...I did it so others would think I had control of my life. To make myself look better. Funny thing is...I got sick. I was drawn out and tired, doctors called it fatigue, depression, bi-polar at one point they even mentioned multiple personalities...well don't lie to yourself...we all have these...just do not name them, and the shrinks will leave it alone.
The few friends I had, I had for superficial reasons...most saw me as "together" and were my friend hoping I would provide them stability...few saw me. (I kept her well hidden)
The deceit built in me till even I had trouble differentiating between the reality and fiction. Then the biggest lie of my life...Nursing School.
I did NOT go to school to get a high paying job that would suck money from poor sick people so I could buy expensive toys. I went to nursing school so I would NO LONGER HAVE TO PAY THOSE PEOPLE MY HARD EARNED MONEY! There I said it. Co payments for mental health add up...then add the doctors payments for the personality altering drugs and the expense of the drug itself...I saved myself a lot of money.
At one point I was forking out almost 300 dollars a month to doctor co payments and I was on Medicaid!! Back then you paid 25 dollars a visit...as well as a co pay for drugs.
Through Psychology classes I learned about myself...I learned my behaviors were in side me and I did have the ability to change them...I learned my feelings were okay...and many in this world have the same ones. I learned that...guess what...the poor people who live family filled lives have a longer life span. Funny how that works.
Did you know there is a chemical in your body for all your emotions, for some of us those chemicals become compounds that we can no longer identify an emotion too.
So in walked Anger Management. Now this is not a class I recommend you just go sign up for. There are too many out there...interview the teacher, and curriculum, make sure the court assigned members do no out number the ones choosing to take the class. I happened to pay a lot of money for the class Keith and I took...but I feel we got the best (half the students were court assigned, and half were there to prevent that.).
We learned ANGER is NOT and emotion. ANGER is the compounding of many negative emotions at once.
A=annoyance
N=neglected feelings
G=guilt...wont admit it? better think deeper.
E=envy
R=rage....what happens when 3 or more negative emotions simmer in 1 human being for too long.
AGGRESSION= now this is anger in a rage...usually it no longer matters what the issue was that started the problem...at this point...any thing bad in a persons life comes raging to the surface and the person loses control, says things they can never take back, and hurts the ones they say they love. The worst form of deceit.
I have personally seen the damage this kind of behavior has on a young child. The earliest hormones in their bodies...programing their brains for the reception of a negative one. They begin to know this as normal. It is programed and often impossible to change later in life. As small children growing in this environment...these hormones begin to comfort them!!
So lets think about that...a child raised by parents who fight all the time, yell at the child to get it to comply, and probably use violence to achieve a means...will learn to thrive on adrenalin, and the other hormones that cause the fight or flight response in our bodies. To this child...it is comforting. A desire to be hit over hugged, in bedded deeply in the child's brain. Deceit in the worst way...and denial by the parent...probably guilt too.
The BIBLE says "Children suffer for the parents sins." This is why my friends...here on this earth...not in heaven.
This child will grow to either flee life through depression and inner turmoil..."What did I do wrong?" or this child will grow to control the ones around them with manipulation, and physical strength...either way their bodies are utilizing the hormones their parents taught them to produce. Trying in vain to obtain a balance that it has no idea how to achieve.
We utilize what we have...what we have is already inside of us shortly after conception...hormones. The root to the personality. Then nurture adds to the confusion.
Anger is a major part of many of our lives...it can be controlled but only with the help of other. Behaviors must change for extended periods of time so the brain can be "re-wired" with the new hormones...there are always set backs and road blocks...but...the goal can be achieved with a lot of emotionally hard work.
Tomorrow (hopefully) the other side of the scale...positive energy too can lead to the bodies most basic defense...fight or flight...eventually leading to ANGER.
***There are exceptions to this little man made catastrophe...I believe they are angels...born with the hormones to protect their brains from being "programmed" by nature, and nurture.

5 Rights

With the cold season coming on us..I thought I would drop some knowledge.

Being surrounded by people in this world it is inevitable that we will get sick. A few simple tricks and you wont have to share your little buggies.

1. Hand washing of course is always the best way to prevent illness, but when you are sick...you would be washing all day. So prevent the dry chapped skin that comes with over washing and use a Kleenex. No silly not to blow your nose....but to open the doors in your path. This will prevent you from transferring your buggies as well as you from picking someone else's up. Okay so you can use the Kleenex to blow your nose if you need to...but then please do not use it to open the door...unless your into sharing buggies.

Transportation...

See when someone sneezes, coughs, wipes their butt, or what ever, they provide a transport mechanism for little buggie things to move around on. Kind of like the bus, these little buggies come with their own sticky gooey coat that works better than a seat belt. But, when your least expecting it... they will jump the bus and find someone else to play with. Using the dollar bill you just stuck in your pocket, the pen you borrowed, or the door knob you used. Think about all the things you and a million others touch every day!!

Port of Entry...

You picked up a bunch of vagrant bugs from something or some one, stuck your finger in your nose, rubbed your eye, or maybe inhaled when someone 30 feet away coughed or sneezed in your direction. They hide in the carpets and jump when you walk...right up your nose. These little fellows find a way to get into you...the only way they can reproduce is by invading you.

So when, despite your best effort, the buggies have invaded, you feel like crap,the nose leaks, the chest is tight, the cough annoys those around you...and the sneezes send mini microbe jets streaming through the air attacking all in their path. Well... take the drugs... they may or may not make you feel better...but it will make you less...ummm icky to the rest of us. (You can still pass these critters on to others even though you feel better...so use the Kleenex!!)

Medications....

You go to the drug store, Wall Mart or where ever you prefer to pick up your drugs. Now please remember... most who shop this isle are sick, touch all the boxes and are probably sniffling and buggifying everything in the vicinity.

So I am giving you a secret. Yes it is a secret, only known to those who spend thousand of dollars going to some kind of advanced medical training. (Or to those who chose to read a book and do a little research instead of waiting for an over priced "professional" to tell them what they could already know.) I suggest you write the following information down...then put it in your wallet, pull it out before entry into the battle zone.

There are 5 Rights medical professionals are taught. This prevents medication errors. I am giving them to you...

1. The Right patient...well thats obvious
2. The Right Dose...this varies depending on age, weight and illness
3. The Right time...yes timing is everything in the drug world. They are designed to work a certain way.
4. The Right Route...now this is the difference between taking it by mouth (PO), Rectal, or shot/IV.
5. The Right Drug...now this should be obvious, but to some it is not. This depends on the symptoms one is suffering...cough-dry or wet, itchy eyes and throat, runny or stuffy nose chest congestion or not...

Okay so you do not need to write that down...but the drug information following is the important part of this writing. Okay the reason for it, to answer all the questions I have received over the last few years.

The common cold is actually the easiest to medicate without a professional. Antibiotics will not cure it only time will help...maybe someday the "Life Cycle of the Cold" will follow this publication.
Symptoms can be treated which will make you feel better, but will not stop the bugs from moving on. (you still should not pick your nose and open a door...the next unsuspecting person will still get your bugs. ie...YOUR STILL CONTAGIOUS!)

There are actually only maybe three or four drugs that can be bought over the counter, I am not discussing the ones you need to buy during pharmacy hours to prevent idiots from cooking crank these are really nasty anyway and epinephrine based drugs should only be used as a last resort, in my opinion. (oops a personal opinion)

All drugs come in two forms, generic and name brands, you know how this works...generic is sometimes just as good but cheaper. I buy whats on sale. What really matters is...what is it made of, and how does it taste. Nothing works if you throw it up right after you take it.

So to feel better when the cold buggies are free loading...try chicken soup...it works.
Okay you want instant relief, well then read the following and hopefully this cold season will be easier for you and the rest of us too.

READ THE ACTIVE INGREDIENT LIST!

Acetaminophen is NOT a cold medication. It is the generic form of Tylenol (an over the counter pain reliever). It is found in a lot of medications because it takes care of pain, you know...sore throat, ear ache, joint and body stiffness (these dudes attack everywhere)

Chlorpheniramine maleate- An antihistamine works by "stopping your body from producing histamines." Confused? A histamine is a part of your bodies defense mechanism and may or may not be addressed in future writings...for now...lets just say it marks the sites of battle so the troops your body will later produce can find the area and attack...histamines make you itch...you know the throat thing, eyes, and that annoying sneeze.

Dextromethorphan HBr- This drug gets into your brain and tells it you do not need to cough. This is okay IF your cough is from an itchy throat or, dry and hacky but coughing is also a defense mechanism natural to the body...suppressing it, if the cough is caused by gooey wet stuff in the lungs, could lead to a bigger problem. Pneumonia causing buggies love the dark, warm, wet world of the lungs...especially if the air flow is decreased from the common cold.

Phenylephrine HCL- a nasal decongestant, this medication causes your blood vessels to shrink in size, less blood swelling them up allows more air space when you inhale...heaven, when your nose is stuffy. (oops a personal opinion...but I bet we all agree.)

Guaifenesin- is a drug that makes the icky stuff in your nose and lungs wetter, less sticky...perfect for coughing up...unless you have taken a cough suppressant.

All these drugs can be bought alone or in several different combinations. Some have alcohol added to increase the sleepiness caused by some of the drugs. All come in pills or liquids, as well as infant (birth-2), children (2-12), and adult doses.

So know your symptoms, check your medicine cupboard, have your Kleenex handy and we will all make it through cold season in harmony.

Me...I buy the one with all the drugs in it...then unless it is a wet cough...I have covered all my bases with one pill...that used to NOT taste icky till some idiot decided they should cover them in an easy to swallow toothpaste tasting gooey substance that sticks to your mouth if you swallow them with water. (oops I tried to keep all political opinions to myself in this writing...but...)

Tell Me Why?

After reading todays paper I can not help but wonder....
Why can people not see life through another's eyes?
Why can people not walk in another's shoes before passing judgment?
For that matter, why do people pass judgment on others when they themselves must screw up once in awhile?
The man sharpening that shovel to break ground to build his son and soon to be daughter in law, a recreational cabin, is already feeling the guilt in him self.
Does he deserve to be punished for what was going to be a good deed but went bad?
Can anyone of us say what we would have done in his shoes?
I cant, maybe that fire went so fast he had no time to go for water and or an extinguisher?
Who would have thought a shovel spark would have started a fire that size?
Knowing the way a small town runs...I will guess that him and his family will move out of Ninilchick, people will not forgive them even though there is nothing to forgive...
The Caribou Hills fire was destined to start...we have feared it and talked about it for the past 6 summers...
Knowing those trees would go up in a blaze...
were the uninsured cabin owners out there building fire blocks on their property last summer? Funny how when one procrastinated preventive measures and something goes bad...they blame anyone but them selves.
I was taught, or figured out, at an early age that if I wear pants, when I fall off my bike my knees wont get skinned. This taught me to plan ahead and look for all possibilities. If I were the owner of any of the land out on the Kenai peninsula tundra I would have either purchased land that had a natural fire/flood block...or...knowing the forests were dead and dying...I would have spent part of each "recreational trip" clearing those trees and grass so when the fire began (It was inevitable to happen) my property would have had some kind of help in surviving.
With family and friends owning property and cabins in the area...I saw first hand the fears of loss.
I saw devastation, I felt the pain of the unknowing...
What I also saw...
A group of people with a common need...to save their vacation spots...
I saw a group of people who helped each other...pulled together when the going was bad.
I saw compassion for others and their property...now I am sure a lot had to do with the fact that if you saved the cabin in front of you, you had a better chance of saving your own...but this fire still brought back a small sense of community...something Homer used to have and has lost through the years.
What I would like to see now that the fears are subsiding and reality is setting in...
That same group of people helping the ones who lost in the fire...rebuild.
A very large number of families were effected by this blaze...blaming someone will not make it go away...and "suing them" will not get the money needed to replace material possessions.
This man and his family can not now and probably never would be able to pay for the damages...nor does he deserve to.
Material possessions were lost...but as far as I know...no one has lost their life. A few have been injured but the ones I have read about chose to cross a fire line to save their "toys". A choice I too would probably have chosen...but I would have understood that I was going into dangerous areas and by crossing the barricade I would be solely responsible for my own actions and injuries.
I am sure I would feel anger toward the fire starter, but that anger, if I looked for it's root would be at myself really. For allowing myself to get into the position in the first place. For not taking preventive measures. I have three fire extinguishers in a 16 foot camper...preventive measures!!
So...tell me why...it is so hard to accept our consequences?
Why do we all think we are superior to our neighbors and their needs?
And... Why would someone who owns property covered in dead spruce think their land is fire resistant?
Oh I know...the same reason someone will build their home on a large river and complain when it floods!

Insurance To Keep Crime at an All Time High

As a parent rising the future generation of America, I have worked hard to teach my children that you must work for your wants, follow the rules and respect their neighbors and community. I have watched other parents struggle along trying to raise decent hard working young adults also.

As a professional in the medical community I have seen the affects of crime on our youth. I have treated the victims as well as the perpetrators of these crimes. I have often wondered what it is that makes an other wise good kid go bad.

Well here is part of the problem…A young person spends most of their day dreaming time thinking and planning for their future…their thoughts roam around their first vehicle, their first apartment, and what they will do to support themselves. I have watched my own as well as many friends of my children move through the stages of childhood and into the next phase as adults…now this is where an other wise good person can go bad..

All of the “must haves” as well as the cost of living are the biggest issue we have in our country today. Our government, for our own protection, has become BIG DADDY. We are told what to do, when to do it and that is will cost us a lot of money to follow these rules or we go to jail. Now that sounds like the communist countries we are trying to free. Only difference is our country “gives” us the luxury of being able to buy cool expensive toys. This pacification technique works well for toddlers and the rich, but it causes the lower income families to struggle for survival. These families not only live without the “incentive toys” but they live without necessities too. I know I used to be one of them.

So now a young person starting out on their own needs to have financial backing or they will spend all their time frustrated and depressed…this will lead to crime, domestic violence as well as the making and distribution of drugs for a fix to their money problems. I have seen this happen many times and am now afraid it is going to become the trend in our country.

A young person today needs a college education before they turn 18 now. There are NO entry level jobs in our state that pay enough for a young person to make ends meet, let alone have any extra money to reward them selves for a job well done. There also is NO ONE in our country that does not require “a little extra” for leisure time.

Our young adults today don’t have a chance. Rent in our city is going to cost them at least $650.00 a month that is $7800.00 a year for a very small studio style apartment in one of the highest crime areas in town. If this is not pushing them to crime I am not sure what would. Add on the monthly eminence bills, and you probably have another $200.00 a month for electric and gas. Then of course they have to eat, so let’s add another $150.00 a month. This won’t feed them but one meal a day, but when you’re poor or starting out on life you must sacrifice somewhere. So now they must make $1000.00 a month just too barely survive.

So now the problem of How to get to work and the incentive to keep going, there is none! Pricing car with my son we decided that he needed to buy a “cheap older car”, we decided this for economic reasons, no car payment, and gas mileage should be better, and insurance should be cheaper. WRONG!!

A 1991 Chevy Cavalier with 149,000 miles on it has a “blue book” value of $800.00. This value is based on the car being in the best possible shape. Fair market value on this car is only $350.00; this particular car has some body damage and is basically a disposable car. So upon returning home, we looked up insurance, sure we had found the car that would not cost the kid his left arm in insurance.

Wrong again, Insurance on this little car is going to cost my son $2000.00 every six months!! That is $500.00 a month for the four month period with a two month “grace period”. So this young man will have to pay for his cheap car eight times over market value a year in order to drive to work. This does not include gas and maintenance either.

Now Insurance is a must, my oldest son and his family has been struggling to get off of Welfare now for a year. They successfully completed that task three months ago. Although their new budget did not allow any extra money for a soda, extra diapers, or auto insurance.

They were pulled over for a dirty license plate. Their car was “arrested” and it took a week to get it back from the municipality. Now the fines for retrieving this car were not too bad…about $500.00. But needless to say that money came from what they had saved up for rent. So now the kids are driving legal and homeless. Their two babies sleeping in the back seat of the car, okay so my kid has family to rely on but what happens to those that do not, or those whose family can not afford to help them. They turn to the streets. They turn to selling drugs and stealing to make ends meet.

We as society blame them, we blame their parents, we blame their neighbors, but we never blame ourselves. Could the rising crime rate have anything to do with the fact that a young person needs at least $2500.00 a month to barely survive? I am appalled that our law makers can not see this trend. Maybe they just ignore it. To change it would mean pay cuts for many of them. Well I encourage all of them to put their “extra money” aside for six months. Live like the rest of the community. Pay the gas bill with the electric bill money to avoid being shut off. Be forced to go with out food and diapers so you can pay the astronomical insurance rates on your car so as to be driving legal. I encourage anyone that makes more than 32,000 a year to try this. Put yourselves in someone else’s shoes for a while. Understand that the poor are not poor because they want to be. They are poor because the rich in our country have made them that way.

They are poor because insurance companies are not regulated on their fees. It is a competitive market.

A few years back I was pulled over for speeding, I had no proof of insurance and at this time the law was new. Despite the fact that I had insurance, I fought the ticket. Many hours I spent in the law library at school. With the help of a “law major” we discovered that our constitution does have an amendment regarding the mandatory insurance law.

This amendment was put together in the 80’s. This amendment states that “If any state or institution makes insurance, uniforms, and other purchasable commodities mandatory, that state or institution MUST provide these at a discount rate.”

I have never heard of an insurance company offering to pay part of anyone’s premium. I have never heard of the state making that offer either. But I have seen the cost of said insurance triple in the last ten years.

So in conclusion…if the government would stop allowing the rich to rape the poor, the poor would not need to turn to violence and drugs to survive. Survival is a mammal’s strongest instinct. Humans are mammals and have this instinct to do what ever it takes to survive.

The Game of Life

FAIRNESS

In all fairness to the word I will say it is a rather pretty looking word, although a word that is useless in our language. What is fair? I was taught that “playing fair” means playing by the agreed upon rules. These rules are made to prevent arguments over what is “fair”. These rules are not subject to change. Monopoly has “rules” of this nature and they have been the same for over 20 years! No “amendments” or “ratifications” just consistent “rules of the game.”

In our nation today we change the rules on a daily basis; I am thinking this is to insure that no one “cheats” in life. We change the rules to meet our needs at the time. These rules are never consistent and most of them most of us have never heard of. These rules are “written to protect”, I want to know who they are suppose to protect, me or the people paid to enforce them.

For the most part I am a “law abiding” citizen. I usually wear my seat belt, more for the example for my children than for your personal safety. In fact I am not even sure how me wearing a seat belt insures your safety. I “don’t smoke in public” so it is not my smoke that is causing non-smokers to be cranky. Maybe they should light up! I don’t wear fur; this is a personal preference not an “animal rights” movement. I vote when I am suppose to, maybe not for “who I am suppose to” but I make it to the poles, there fore I also have the right to complain….

More than a complaint, for the first time in my life I am right and the people “who make the rules are idiots! I am not sure why the rest of the world can not see it but our “rules” to make “life fair” are the exact reason life is screwed up!!

A prime example that most states have now enacted is the “Mandatory Insurance Laws”. Now I understand the “need” for insurance. I am also under the impression that insurance was originally started for people to buy to protect themselves. I do believe insurance became a HUGE hit in the 1970’s when people discovered “the right to blame”. At this time everyone and anyone was “suing” anyone and everyone. an easy way to make a dime. This started the whole mess we are in now. More “rules” had to be made to make sure we were all “playing fair”, due to insurance companies having the entire nations police force backing them, they can now charge what ever they want as well as make up their own “rules” to a game we have no choice but to play.

In all “fairness” I should be able to “not play” if I so chose. So my beef is not about mandatory insurance but about the prices and how they are allocated.

A young couple in their 20’s with two small children, starting out their lives trying to “play by the rules” unfortunately they discovered that to “buy into the game” was costly so they have to “rent” from another player. Their “rent” is over half of their income as they are “new to the game” and must start at the beginning.

With the “high cost of living” and the “low wages” society pays for beginning jobs these young people quickly discovered they would have to “cut” corners somewhere. Diapers? Baby formula? Already living without a phone or cable they cut the insurance saving themselves $380 dollars a month!!! See our society requires us to have “insurance coverage” on our automobiles, the banks require us to have “full coverage” on any car with a lean on it therefore the insurance companies can charge what ever they want of our young people, not bothering to consider what these same young people will have to “live without” in order to pay for the insurance.

This young couple is heading home from Anchorage to Wasilla, where they were forced to move in order to afford to live outside of their parent’s home. Both their young babies safely in their car seats sleeping in the back, worried about moose and other motorists they set the cruise control at 60 and settled in to enjoy the ride. Red and Blue lights flashed behind them and they pulled over, they were stopped for having a “dirty license plate” in the spring time in Alaska! Not “cited” for any traffic violations the officer discovered they had no insurance. In our state this is an arrest able offense, although the officer that night was nice and did not “arrest” anyone but the car.

Okay consequences for our actions, it is the law to have insurance, and the law states that your car will be “impounded” if you do not have “proof”. Sounds kind of like a bunch of ten year olds talking about the opposite sex. So this young couple was lucky enough to have just received a “tax return” and they happened to have the money to pay the 300 dollar fine and purchase the insurance so they could provide the “proof”. Taking the day off work to accomplish this so they would have a car for transportation to work, a must if you are going to make it to your place of employment on time, they waited for the impound lot to “return” their call, they waited and waited and waited. Finally a call was received from the lot and the couple was informed that “an officer has 48 hours to turn in his paper work.” Seems like plenty of time to “forget” the facts. Without the paper work the car can not be processed and released. So they must wait. This wait is costing them 150 dollars a day!!! In impound lot fees. So now they are “being punished” for “paying their consequences”, what the hell kind of message is that to send to our young people.

"HEY KID PAY THE CONSEQUENCES FOR YOUR ACTIONS…THEN WE CAN KEEP PUNISHING YOU FOR THE HELL OF IT.”

I want to ask everyone why this is right. Why are we punishing the ones who were not complying for good reason, then do comply? Why is this “little incident” costing my children more than a drunk must pay to “get back on the road”? And how is a young family suppose to “make it” in today’s world?

So this “little ordeal” is not over yet, even though the young couple did what “was required” of them, they were also informed that the car will be released “on bail” when the paper work is processed. What the hell does that mean? Are they afraid the car is going to run? If they do not return to court on the appointed court date, even if they are not arguing the offense, the car will have a warrant put out for its arrest!!! So watch out for the new spike it taxes when we have to pay for all the “retained” automobiles to have wash and wax jobs regularly. Automobile rights activists everywhere will jump on that ban wagon. They have the “right to hold the automobile in custody for 30 days.” Wow that car better not get caught again next time it might get life.

So I want to know why we do not just go back to the days of “flogging”. Seems like a much more humane means of punishment then taking a young family’s transportation to work, charging them all kinds of “momentary fines”, “impound fees”, and still allowing an insurance company to gouge them for another grand up front plus monthly fees of 200 dollars.

This young couple is lucky…they will have family to help them out when they are living in an abandoned house in Mountain View. HELLO WORLD…cant you see it….

You take the car, they still must pay the car payments or the bank will be taking it from the impound lot, you charge them any and all money they have saved for the months bills so they can “retrieve the car” and still get to work then tell them to wait another 48 hours to 30 days, then the land lord wants his rent, the electric company wants their bill paid, the gas company will not wait another month and the cost of fuel to sleep in the car is too high .

Welfare will not “kick in” if you are employed or quit your job due to “lack of transportation”. There is a waiting list miles long to get on state housing, and the local churches are all “maxed out”. So now you have a “desperate young couple”, this young couple has now become high risk for domestic violence, manufacturing and selling drugs for income, and stealing: All due to a “dirty license plate”.

Wake up world my kids are not alone, I am sure millions of young people are driving without insurance, not to be defiant but to survive. Punishing them by taking their “source of survival” is why our young people have turned to “other means” for making money. They no longer “trust” us to “do what is right”. Most of the young people on the streets today have watched society push their parents to the lowest point, why would they trust societies “rules”? Why would they even want to play the game? They are set up to lose the minute they role the first dice. People, the problem does not lie in our schools, it is not “the kids fault”, it is ours, my generation, we have the problem and we need to deal with it. We need to GROW UP and quit “expecting” others to take care of the problems. We need to face up to the fact that we, not the children chose to drive through McDonalds waiting in a line full of cars for 15 minutes when there is absolutely no body in side the store. Obesity is not their fault it’s our life style just as automobile insurance has become our dictator, with the entire police force enforcing their scheme.

So everyone buckle up, make sure your insurance “proof” is in the glove box, pop that hot fry in your mouth, dial up that cell phone, crank the tunes, and drive the two blocks to Safeway for the milk that you can not get at the drive thru. Don’t mind the young family outside the store, they are just passing time” waiting for mommy to get off work” so they can return to their “insured car” and sleep away their hungry tummys.