Many long years ago, two small boys lived in a community with their mother, the father was off “hunting” and the boy’s responsibility was to “catch” the days dinner from the creek, using the “noodling” technique was a bit scary so these boys devised a game from their fathers “cards”. A game of chance that ultimately determined who would be the one to “noodle” the nights dinner.
Soon the community noticed one brother was most frequently at the creek while the other was rarely seen, they asked the young man why he always “drew the short straw” and the boy said…”Go Fish”. He soon taught the others in town how to play a simple card game that gambled away the right to sit at home while the other went out to do the work.
Now as time passed these two boys grew and one day “Little Milt” mentioned to his brother that he seemed to “lose” at “Go Fish” too often and it was time to find a new way to determine who would go out and catch the fish.
Now with a lot of time to spare, while “Milt” was fishing, “Brad” had anticipated this and had begun planning the “ultimate game of conquer-ship”, consisting of a map and many multi-colored little blocks the objective to this game was to conquer the “world” and ultimately get “control” of the home, as their mother was most frequently out with the “girls” planning ways to obtain “manhood” and gain the rights they deserved for the job they were doing.
This particular game often took days to complete and the boys soon realized they would starve if they took the ‘risk’ of finishing this game so they devised another that allowed the smaller “ocean” going battles, and “strategically place armies” for other battles to break down who would do the house hold chores now going by the wayside.
As the summer days grew into fall, “father came home”, with “mother” at his side, seeing the shambles of their home, they themselves devised a game to teach the children about “choices” in life, and began encouraging them to go to school or get a "career".
Now this concept was a bit confusing to the boys and they soon figured out that with a ‘job’ you can make money, and with money you can buy more things, doing less “work”, and they quickly invested in some property and began to “monopolize” the community.
As the years went on the community continued to struggle to achieve what seemed to them “went out faster than it came in”, the cost of rent ever increasing, the fines and fees from taxes causing them to sell and sacrifice while they watched the brothers obtain “a Kingdom” made from the communities own hard work.
Now what the community did not know was these two boys had “long ago” started a game of risk, and now that game had finally come to a head after many battles and upsets.
The game was now dominated by “two large armies” and a few smaller ones of various color taken into “control” to fill the roles of other won allies….behind closed doors these boys used this game to decide who would now pass out the foreclosure papers to their parents, as they had NOT paid their taxes since age related illness had caused them to slow down.
One morning the sun rose high, and a young lady woke to a day of sorrow as people cried in the streets over the injustice of it all and she realized that the “life of playing games” had ran its gauntlet and we had now come around in a complete circle; Where people watched as another talked of ‘tossing the entire board” the “brothers” used for decision making, off the table.
So with “ants in their pants” and hoping “not to break the ice” causing us all to “sink or swim”, they waited wishing that the world had stayed with “fairy tales” instead of moving on to “games”.
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Teen Moms
I am, or was 15 when I found out the first time I was pregnant. Now your ‘ass-u-me-ing’ a lot at this moment but maybe stop and ask your self a few questions such as,
What would make a teen age girl have sex?
Many answers to that question and many will never share their rational truth as they remember it at that age…me…I wanted to be loved.
I ‘viewed’ sex as an act of ‘love’ between two people, one that would bind them together for a life time.
How wrong I was. Sex…an act between two people that may or may not be consensual, consummated for what ever reason those involved have.
Love…the way I feel about that baby I conceived at 15. Love a condition of the heart that requires one to sacrifice self many times over, for the achievement of happiness in the one you love.
I walked home that last day on the bluff, knowing the baby I now carried would be raised with out a father, grateful for the ‘little bit’ I had to remind me of the love we had shared so briefly. I was rationalizing in my head the work I had ahead of me and the possibility of defeat. Scared, knowing I was alone, as no one else would ever understand why, at 15, this baby meant life or death for me.
As I walked the few miles home I ran through a gauntlet of emotions, fear being the number one. Fear of what my parents would say, Fear that others would judge them harshly for my choice, and it was a choice for me. Fear that I would not succeed as I felt I could, and most of all fear that the baby I carried would hate me for even trying to be a mom at 15.
Now to clear one thing up, I had no intention on purposely getting pregnant, but somehow I knew after the encounter that I was, just as I knew this would be the last encounter with my child’s father a man I had loved since early childhood.
My pregnancy was not kept secret from all, a few friends rationalized me into an abortion but arriving at the clinic we found a back door into a ‘basement clinic’….I was too scared to walk in the door.
At twenty weeks adults in town had noticed my expanding girth and made it clear it was time to tell my folks or they would, knowing they could NOT make me go to that clinic I finally found the mental strength to tell my parents who raised me with morals and values that I had misplaced them, and my birth control pills…and now they were going to be grandparents.
I survived that storm and many others since then. The baby I had is now a man and has given me grandbabies…how do I feel today about the life I lived and the decisions I made then?
My first answer to this would have been its no ones business, until that is this ballot measure passed on the Alaskan Abortion Laws….Now I want to speak out on behalf of ALL young people who find them selves with child, for what ever reason…and I promise there are many…I have spent a life time supporting helping and talking to these young ladies trying to give back just a little of what a few very caring adults gave me at times when my youth needed the guidance.
***these girls names have been changed or omitted for personal reasons and their names mean nothing to this writing, their situations DO…
*** fifteen year old, drinking with friends finds herself with child, rationalizing the ‘adult’ games that come along with having a baby she chooses to have this child and call herself mom. She did well in the beginning until sleepless nights; lack of money and lack of personal self pushed her back into ‘looking for life in greener pastures’. This young lady drug her child around from man to man, home to home, and party to party. Today the baby from this story is residing behind bars. He struggled in society as long as he could and eventually got caught involved in an armed robbery. His mother still returns to the local bars and is probably single once again.
***This same scenario with grandparents that chose to ‘adopt’ the child…the child also had children at an early age and could have followed in her mamas foot steps, but others interfered and helped her make a better life for her and her kids.
***A thirteen year old girl, having baby number three, although she called one and two ‘sisters’, questions arose in my head on this one and eventually I learned that this young lady was a baby factory for her step father and mother. Told if ‘daddy’ makes the baby in you then it’s a sibling not your child. Told it was her duty to do this for her family as her mother could not have any more babies. At thirteen she barely questioned this theory, but at fifteen when she was pregnant with baby number four she sure did, today all her kids are being raised in other ‘family’ homes, last I knew she was a mother/sister to five at the age of 17 where she is now I have no clue, and her parents both reside in rooms with bars.
***The child born to parents who “did not even know they were pregnant”, these parents walked off and left their newborn in the grocery store! Returned three hours later and could not figure out why the police had been called, they left her with a diaper bag, bottles diapers and such….mom thought dad had her, dad thought mom had her, neither parent went straight home. Where is this child today? My guess is wandering around the streets still looking for her parents.
There are many reasons a young lady would chose NOT to talk to her parents about being pregnant, I felt mine would force me to abort my baby, others feel theirs would not let them, still others would get abused, while others have no choice in the matter…and in just one day the state of Alaska assumed ALL young girls who conceive a child are in one of two categories,
Parents who care, or parents who don’t…when in reality the picture is so much larger. Add the emotions from parents who find out their child is pregnant. Anger could make them chose an option for their child that is not in the best interest of their child or the child being fought over.
Now let me introduce you to a few moms, moms who made choices for the life with in their belly….
***at fifteen she was in for abortion number four…today she struggles to conceive a child…now this young woman knowing she has had her share went out and began “foster parenting” and went on to adopt a small family of her own…educated with a good job she now has the ability to support and care for the babies she was so reckless with in her youth, not her biological babies, but babies who;s mamas would have aborted had she not stood up and said “May I have them”…a solution to the abortion problem…
***She too was pregnant at a young age and had conceived this child while at a party. She reported doing many different drugs and consuming large quantities of alcohol from before conception to well past the fifth week. Abortion clinics being hard to come by in her area she went on with her life in hopes that the life style would “take care of the problem”. Instead…she gave birth to a addicted baby boy…who struggled for survival through many many painful procedures and hours or withdrawals as his little body struggled to free itself of the toxins his mama had ingested just hours before his birth. Now this young mother had not even informed her parents she was pregnant, her father being an attorney and her mom a physician she chose to deliver her baby in a bathroom at a motel.
Today…that baby died at age ten from drug related issues after many years of medical battles and procedures that cost the state a lot of money, as the child’s mother left that day in the motel, left her baby for dead……
***This mom was denied an abortion, not wanting her child she ‘sold’ her into ‘sex slavery’…the child was seized from home at 9 months old and was being “pimped out’ for what a baby does best…”suck”…yes that is disgusting but it happens more often than our sheltered worlds will allow us to see…this child was a “sucking slave” until the age of two when the state seized her for the fifth time and put her into the foster care system. This young lady at the age of ten was committed for life into a mental institution deemed “un-rehabilitative” and was charged with “sexual misconduct” to other foster kids….had Wellfare paid for an abortion five other kids would not have been traumatized and this child would not have been raised as a sex slave and now will spend her life being supported behind bars by tax payers.
I have pointed out here just a few scenarios I was exposed to through out the years I have chosen to make myself available to others for love and support. My dreams will be forever haunted with small faces, mom faces, and the what ifs…..
Over the years the only solution I can come up with in my head is, we live in America land of the free, to each his own, a young lady who chooses an abortion has to live with that, the rest of us would not even know it happened if we were not so nosey….parental rights? What about the teen- agers potential parental rights?...
I would rather see a young lady abort her baby with or without her parents permission then have it when they would rather live their lives for them selves and that child takes the punishment from the parent behavior in ways that will be imbedded in its life style and memory bank…
What would make a teen age girl have sex?
Many answers to that question and many will never share their rational truth as they remember it at that age…me…I wanted to be loved.
I ‘viewed’ sex as an act of ‘love’ between two people, one that would bind them together for a life time.
How wrong I was. Sex…an act between two people that may or may not be consensual, consummated for what ever reason those involved have.
Love…the way I feel about that baby I conceived at 15. Love a condition of the heart that requires one to sacrifice self many times over, for the achievement of happiness in the one you love.
I walked home that last day on the bluff, knowing the baby I now carried would be raised with out a father, grateful for the ‘little bit’ I had to remind me of the love we had shared so briefly. I was rationalizing in my head the work I had ahead of me and the possibility of defeat. Scared, knowing I was alone, as no one else would ever understand why, at 15, this baby meant life or death for me.
As I walked the few miles home I ran through a gauntlet of emotions, fear being the number one. Fear of what my parents would say, Fear that others would judge them harshly for my choice, and it was a choice for me. Fear that I would not succeed as I felt I could, and most of all fear that the baby I carried would hate me for even trying to be a mom at 15.
Now to clear one thing up, I had no intention on purposely getting pregnant, but somehow I knew after the encounter that I was, just as I knew this would be the last encounter with my child’s father a man I had loved since early childhood.
My pregnancy was not kept secret from all, a few friends rationalized me into an abortion but arriving at the clinic we found a back door into a ‘basement clinic’….I was too scared to walk in the door.
At twenty weeks adults in town had noticed my expanding girth and made it clear it was time to tell my folks or they would, knowing they could NOT make me go to that clinic I finally found the mental strength to tell my parents who raised me with morals and values that I had misplaced them, and my birth control pills…and now they were going to be grandparents.
I survived that storm and many others since then. The baby I had is now a man and has given me grandbabies…how do I feel today about the life I lived and the decisions I made then?
My first answer to this would have been its no ones business, until that is this ballot measure passed on the Alaskan Abortion Laws….Now I want to speak out on behalf of ALL young people who find them selves with child, for what ever reason…and I promise there are many…I have spent a life time supporting helping and talking to these young ladies trying to give back just a little of what a few very caring adults gave me at times when my youth needed the guidance.
***these girls names have been changed or omitted for personal reasons and their names mean nothing to this writing, their situations DO…
*** fifteen year old, drinking with friends finds herself with child, rationalizing the ‘adult’ games that come along with having a baby she chooses to have this child and call herself mom. She did well in the beginning until sleepless nights; lack of money and lack of personal self pushed her back into ‘looking for life in greener pastures’. This young lady drug her child around from man to man, home to home, and party to party. Today the baby from this story is residing behind bars. He struggled in society as long as he could and eventually got caught involved in an armed robbery. His mother still returns to the local bars and is probably single once again.
***This same scenario with grandparents that chose to ‘adopt’ the child…the child also had children at an early age and could have followed in her mamas foot steps, but others interfered and helped her make a better life for her and her kids.
***A thirteen year old girl, having baby number three, although she called one and two ‘sisters’, questions arose in my head on this one and eventually I learned that this young lady was a baby factory for her step father and mother. Told if ‘daddy’ makes the baby in you then it’s a sibling not your child. Told it was her duty to do this for her family as her mother could not have any more babies. At thirteen she barely questioned this theory, but at fifteen when she was pregnant with baby number four she sure did, today all her kids are being raised in other ‘family’ homes, last I knew she was a mother/sister to five at the age of 17 where she is now I have no clue, and her parents both reside in rooms with bars.
***The child born to parents who “did not even know they were pregnant”, these parents walked off and left their newborn in the grocery store! Returned three hours later and could not figure out why the police had been called, they left her with a diaper bag, bottles diapers and such….mom thought dad had her, dad thought mom had her, neither parent went straight home. Where is this child today? My guess is wandering around the streets still looking for her parents.
There are many reasons a young lady would chose NOT to talk to her parents about being pregnant, I felt mine would force me to abort my baby, others feel theirs would not let them, still others would get abused, while others have no choice in the matter…and in just one day the state of Alaska assumed ALL young girls who conceive a child are in one of two categories,
Parents who care, or parents who don’t…when in reality the picture is so much larger. Add the emotions from parents who find out their child is pregnant. Anger could make them chose an option for their child that is not in the best interest of their child or the child being fought over.
Now let me introduce you to a few moms, moms who made choices for the life with in their belly….
***at fifteen she was in for abortion number four…today she struggles to conceive a child…now this young woman knowing she has had her share went out and began “foster parenting” and went on to adopt a small family of her own…educated with a good job she now has the ability to support and care for the babies she was so reckless with in her youth, not her biological babies, but babies who;s mamas would have aborted had she not stood up and said “May I have them”…a solution to the abortion problem…
***She too was pregnant at a young age and had conceived this child while at a party. She reported doing many different drugs and consuming large quantities of alcohol from before conception to well past the fifth week. Abortion clinics being hard to come by in her area she went on with her life in hopes that the life style would “take care of the problem”. Instead…she gave birth to a addicted baby boy…who struggled for survival through many many painful procedures and hours or withdrawals as his little body struggled to free itself of the toxins his mama had ingested just hours before his birth. Now this young mother had not even informed her parents she was pregnant, her father being an attorney and her mom a physician she chose to deliver her baby in a bathroom at a motel.
Today…that baby died at age ten from drug related issues after many years of medical battles and procedures that cost the state a lot of money, as the child’s mother left that day in the motel, left her baby for dead……
***This mom was denied an abortion, not wanting her child she ‘sold’ her into ‘sex slavery’…the child was seized from home at 9 months old and was being “pimped out’ for what a baby does best…”suck”…yes that is disgusting but it happens more often than our sheltered worlds will allow us to see…this child was a “sucking slave” until the age of two when the state seized her for the fifth time and put her into the foster care system. This young lady at the age of ten was committed for life into a mental institution deemed “un-rehabilitative” and was charged with “sexual misconduct” to other foster kids….had Wellfare paid for an abortion five other kids would not have been traumatized and this child would not have been raised as a sex slave and now will spend her life being supported behind bars by tax payers.
I have pointed out here just a few scenarios I was exposed to through out the years I have chosen to make myself available to others for love and support. My dreams will be forever haunted with small faces, mom faces, and the what ifs…..
Over the years the only solution I can come up with in my head is, we live in America land of the free, to each his own, a young lady who chooses an abortion has to live with that, the rest of us would not even know it happened if we were not so nosey….parental rights? What about the teen- agers potential parental rights?...
I would rather see a young lady abort her baby with or without her parents permission then have it when they would rather live their lives for them selves and that child takes the punishment from the parent behavior in ways that will be imbedded in its life style and memory bank…
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The queston was Where can faith be found?
Where can faith be found? Hmm a rhetorical question and I do not think you will find faith on your local super market shelves. I am under the belief that a church is a place to find faith, but it will not be handed out with the prayer book. You can have faith that the Welfare line will be long and painful, but this is not the faith we are looking for.
Faith first and foremost must come from deep with in ones inner being. Faith that the world around us will eventually be good over evil. Faith that there is more to the puzzle that meats the eye.
Many have issues with religion, but all religions have a common ground that can not be disputed, the need for good or evil to prevail. Whether they believe in one GOD or many the point is faith, faith that something more is out there to help. I asked "Jesus into my heart" as a small child. I did not know what this meant other that someone somewhere with a lot of power loved me. Through the Bible stories of my youth I learned that punishment is not always a bad thing. It teaches us to learn from our mistakes on this plane in hopes that when we leave it will be to a better one.
Faith can not come from religion alone. Many attend church thinking this is what it takes to get to heaven. Many attend for the social life and sense of community a church has to offer. The seeds of faith planted will not grow without nourishment and care, was the moral to a story Jesus told the Israelites on their journey to Egypt. I do not think he was referring to crops.
In has been proven that Jesus walked this earth, that in itself should give one faith in the stories he told of achieving paradise. I now know that asking Jesus into my heart was not the way to faith and a better world, but it was a start. I realize now that faith coming from with in brings great rewards. Rewards that no money could by. Faith from with in gives us power. Power to influence others, although I prefer the word "educate" as this power is often abused for self serving purposes or materialistic gain.
To start finding your faith is as simple as a thank you to someone on the street who moved out of your way. A smile to a stranger. Thanking the air around you when you narrowly avoid an accident. Some would say this is an institution able event, talking to oneself in third party. I disagree.
Deep with in each of us lies and ego and an id. These two have many different names of reference but it boils down to one thing, good and evil. Id is buried deep often referred to as our consciousness. Babies are born with their Id as it holds the basic instincts for survival. Soon after birth the ego kicks in. Now ego is not all bad but it does tend to lose track and become self serving. With faith the Id has power over the ego, power to assist it in seeing things from others point of view. This power is strong when used for the good of all living things.
Faith is found inside, we are born with it we just have to learn how to use it properly. Faith can be nurtured anywhere but a church is a good place to start. The environment is calming and allows one to "touch" their inner self, for a brief period of the week, gaining energy to fight off the evil of the ego.
Faith is the answer to our problems and the balm to cure our fears. Mix in some humor and a bit of love and you have the perfect recipe for paradise.
Faith first and foremost must come from deep with in ones inner being. Faith that the world around us will eventually be good over evil. Faith that there is more to the puzzle that meats the eye.
Many have issues with religion, but all religions have a common ground that can not be disputed, the need for good or evil to prevail. Whether they believe in one GOD or many the point is faith, faith that something more is out there to help. I asked "Jesus into my heart" as a small child. I did not know what this meant other that someone somewhere with a lot of power loved me. Through the Bible stories of my youth I learned that punishment is not always a bad thing. It teaches us to learn from our mistakes on this plane in hopes that when we leave it will be to a better one.
Faith can not come from religion alone. Many attend church thinking this is what it takes to get to heaven. Many attend for the social life and sense of community a church has to offer. The seeds of faith planted will not grow without nourishment and care, was the moral to a story Jesus told the Israelites on their journey to Egypt. I do not think he was referring to crops.
In has been proven that Jesus walked this earth, that in itself should give one faith in the stories he told of achieving paradise. I now know that asking Jesus into my heart was not the way to faith and a better world, but it was a start. I realize now that faith coming from with in brings great rewards. Rewards that no money could by. Faith from with in gives us power. Power to influence others, although I prefer the word "educate" as this power is often abused for self serving purposes or materialistic gain.
To start finding your faith is as simple as a thank you to someone on the street who moved out of your way. A smile to a stranger. Thanking the air around you when you narrowly avoid an accident. Some would say this is an institution able event, talking to oneself in third party. I disagree.
Deep with in each of us lies and ego and an id. These two have many different names of reference but it boils down to one thing, good and evil. Id is buried deep often referred to as our consciousness. Babies are born with their Id as it holds the basic instincts for survival. Soon after birth the ego kicks in. Now ego is not all bad but it does tend to lose track and become self serving. With faith the Id has power over the ego, power to assist it in seeing things from others point of view. This power is strong when used for the good of all living things.
Faith is found inside, we are born with it we just have to learn how to use it properly. Faith can be nurtured anywhere but a church is a good place to start. The environment is calming and allows one to "touch" their inner self, for a brief period of the week, gaining energy to fight off the evil of the ego.
Faith is the answer to our problems and the balm to cure our fears. Mix in some humor and a bit of love and you have the perfect recipe for paradise.
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